Why are children having sex?!?

I made the mistake of turning on the television one day last week. It happened to be tuned to the channel hosting (in that particular moment) the Dr. Phil show and he was in the middle of a sentence saying something about eleven-year-olds having s*e*x!?!

I had to sit down.

Oh don't get me wrong. I certainly don't find sex unsettling... I find the idea of 11-year-olds, in a culture that seems to be totally captivated by and ridiculously prudish about sex, stepping into that quagmire before they've even figured out how to support themselves, a sad yet ludicrous thing.

In all fairness... I didn't watch much of the show, or any show for that matter. I turned the TV off and went for a walk. Found myself pondering this subject as I watched the children in my neighborhood get off school buses, celebrating their freedom for the day, just as generations before them celebrated the same thing.

As I greeted the kids I have to admit I found myself wondering if there was really truth to the comments I heard that it's not just the high school kids that are sexually active... or the middle school kids, it was now an activity engaged in by children in elementary school. If true, what is going on?

Wouldn't it be worth it for us to explore what it is that would have kids, whether 11, 12, 15 or 17, thinking engaging in sex makes sense?

Maybe it's a search for intimacy?

Maybe it's a drive for authentic pleasure?

Maybe it's simply to flaunt authority?

Maybe it's mere imitation?

Whatever it is, if it were up to me... I'd ask them!

So I will!

I'll let you know what I hear, until then why not ask your kids about their thoughts?

--Mary K

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EXPECT MIRACLES!

Kids CAN have a Business

Parenting, Grandparenting, PARENT YOURSELF!

I'm a parent and a grandparent with a parent that I should probably parent.

However... I have a hunch that none of us really need 'parenting' as currently understood. To quote the song, "All we need is love... la la la la..."

Today...
One son called just to say "Hi" and share some news...
One son called to share news about a new job and finding a great childcare program for the youngest granddaughter but they won't have an opening until March '08 so would I consider being backup for a few months...
One son walked in the door to share his plan about staying with me through the winter...

And then the mail arrived... Dad sending me a copy of Sean David Morton's Delphi Associates Newsletter along with a copy of the latest scam he's jumped into........ argggghhhh

Baby learns sign language

I had some fun today creating a lens over at Squidoo.com about teaching babies sign language. I'd love to have you take a peek... Baby Signs ~ Powerful Language

American Sign Language is actually a very simple, intuitive physical way of communicating and babies pick up the signs easily. Perhaps you could even say they know many of them instinctively.

Actually, I've suspect that the language developed by someone observing an infant and watching their gestures. The hand positions you see in the little one in the highchair above are not unusual for an infant that age. This baby is actually signing "more". And how wonderful when baby and parent or caregiver are on the same page!

As you can imagine, especially if you've ever been confronted with a baby determined to communicate something specific that you are absolutely clueless about... being able to share a language with your baby is a HUGE frustration reducer!! ;-)

So get over and check that lens...you'll pick up a sign or two!

Oh...by the way... did you notice I have YOUTUBE feed showing on my blog? I'm not controlling what comes up...it's a new deal that uses key words related to the blog...so it could get weird. Share your feedback and we'll see if this catches on!!!

Have FUN!
~~Mary K

FORK OFF!

We interrupt the previously planned blog to talk a bit about common sense safety!!!

This comes to mind today because of some pictures that came my way. Having spent a couple of decades working in the field with small children as a Licensed Childcare Provider (among other things :-)) part of my on-going education involved graphic films similar to the ones they used to show 15 year-olds who were taking Drivers Ed. classes. Except these films showed the often sad results of grownups either being inattentive or just plain lacking the experience of graphic images.

Because I shouldn't be the only one to have these things seared into my previously innocent brain I thought I'd offer the service of driving the message home.

YES! Kids are amazingly resilient. YES! In a very real way it's a bit of a miracle that any of us survive to adulthood. Still...I think it serves for us to be mindful that children don't have the foresight that comes from many life experiences. Sure, we can't just give them the gift of our experience and truly, experience is the best teacher and sometimes kids need the space to fall down so they can pick themselves up and learn to master something new.

But let's be mindful about providing an environment that minimizes the kind of experiences that may have long-term and/or even permanent consequences. Like considering the top four foods that children under three choke on - Popcorn, Peanuts, Grapes and Hotdogs - if they can't be cut up into small bites just don't make them available until they're over three. Do you realize that a child's stomach is about the size of their fist? Given that, consider how small the diameter of their esophagus!

And I can't tell you the number of times I've seen young children walking (toddling?) around with something they could easily impale themselves on. Now... you may think that melodramatic but keep in mind, I'm the one who watched the video of the 4-year-old running down the hall with the toothbrush in his mouth only to trip and fall and push it through the soft palate of his mouth. Fortunately the parents had the good sense NOT to pull it out or it could have cost that little guy his life!

Which brings us to todays pictures ~~

See what happens when you run with a fork --
















You're probably thinking the fork came DOWN on his nose?
Think again...















Now I'm of a mind that there are waaaay too many people wanting to dictate 'rules' to others about what they can and cannot do all in the name of 'safety'... I find it quite insulting and happen to currently live in a state that seems to want to legislate everything... as if none of us have a brain in our head! Maybe if we all start standing firmly and demonstrating enough independent common sense our kids will suffer fewer pain-filled mishaps and my city counsel will stop talking about outlawing wading pools!

Kids and the Law of Attraction

I need help answering my kids questions about why they can't have what they want now, even though we are grateful for those things now. How do I answer them "Why can't we have that new toy, or those new clothes now?" without sounding like I don't believe that we already have them. The fact is that I just started with the Secret two months ago and just recently (within the last two weeks started practicing it) so the money isn't here yet. They are only 7 and 8 so I'm not sure how much I should be saying out loud and how much of the "acting like I have it already" that they should be exposed to because of the ensuing questions that cause me to say well we do have but we don't have. Does anyone understand what I'm saying? Please help!

I think I understand what you're saying... and I would (and do ;-)) have a conversation with 'my' kids that goes something like this:

Child: Why can't I have the new toy now?

Me: Hmmmm... Yeah...why not? What do you think?

Child: Cause you don't have the money?

Me: What does my money have to do with anything? You're the one who wants that toy. Let me ask you a question... how do you think it would feel to have that toy?

Child: Good.

Me: Well... are you feeling good?

Child: I will when I have the toy!

Me: Hmmmm.... the Universe gives us what matches our vibration... and our feelings tell us what we are vibrating. Do you think right now you are feeling a match to how you will feel when you have the toy?

Child: That's silly... I can't because I don't have the toy!!!

Me: WOW! Sounds like you're in a jam. Kind of stuck feeling yucky when you think about NOT having the toy.

Child: How can I feel the same happy having the toy or not having the toy?

Me: Oh...now you're getting clever. Good question. How can you?

Child: I can forget about the stupid toy and pretend I never saw it.

Me: That could work if you could do it. You sound kind of angry though. That might not help you be a match to getting the toy. What about remembering all the toys you have at home.

Child: What about them? I'm not talking about them.

Me: Well, how did you feel when you got them? Can you think of one toy you have at home that you wanted the same way you want this toy?

Child: Yeah... I really, really wanted those action figures I already have and I really like them. That's why I want this new one.

Me: Oh... because you don't feel good about the ones at home anymore?

Child: No... I do feel good about those... (child goes on to describe where and when each figure was received and all the things that are great about that particular figure....

and I said....

Me: Keep feeling the way you're feeling right now as you're talking and I can promise you that new action figure is on his way....

...and because it was my kid he said (in a bit of an exaggerated Eyeore voice....) "Oh yeah...I'll see it when I believe it!" and we finished our shopping. The next day his grandma walked in the door with that exact action figure.... and I promise... it didn't come from me! LOL